Real Ways to Make Friends in a New City
So many of us will move to a new place at some point in our lives — whether it be for a new job, school, family, or just for a change of pace. Moving can be so exciting and daunting at the same time, especially if you’re moving somewhere you don’t know anyone. That was me the first time I moved from Ohio to New York.
Despite moving to a place I didn’t know a single soul, I was still able to make authentic connections. Friendships are so essential from a health and well-being perspective. People who have a few solid friends in their lives tend to be happier and healthier. Yet, despite the importance of community, so many people feel disconnected and lonely.
This list is intended to help you connect with your community, build relationships, and find your friend group. Keep in mind, you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and not everyone is going to be yours. I say this to remind you not to get discouraged if you don’t click with every single person you meet, that’s totally normal.
What’s Worked For Me
It takes time, but it can be done! As someone who’s moved to new cities twice, and is introverted, I’ve found that the easiest ways to meet people are through social apps. I’ve had the most success using Bumble BFF, Discord, and Geneva. I’ve also made connections at my local gym, volunteering, and parties. The key is being open to connection and putting yourself out there.
How To Actually Make Friends as an Adult
Apps
Bumble BFF
Discord
Geneva
Meetup
Strava
Social apps like Bumble BFF and Geneva have been a great way for me to connect with like-minded people when I move to a new city. It’s an easy way to connect with people from the comfort of your home, and then schedule things to do in person.
Clubs
Rec Leagues
Run Clubs
Social Clubs
Joining a club is a great way to meet people in a more organized setting. Find a club near you like Volo Sports or Cooldown running club if you’re looking to engage in weekly games and activities with a group. If you’re wanting a more chill experience, consider joining a social club like Tribe or Real Roots.
Community Events
Gym Events
Local Library
Volunteer
Google events that are going on in your city based on your interests or search for events on Facebook. Additionally, sometimes gyms host special events for their members, making it another great opportunity to meet people who you already have something in common with. Don’t forget your local libraries! They can be a community hub for social events as well as information (my local library holds a monthly ukulele jam sesh and knitting gatherings).
Tips
Be open. You can connect with anyone anywhere. it could be the barista at your favorite coffee shop, the front desk person at your gym, or the person you’re next to at a work out class. Be open with your body language that signals you’re open to connect and always willing to strike up a conversation.
Start the conversation. Even just a simple “hey, how’s it going” can go a long way. I’ve found that wearing a t-shirt with my alma mater, hometown, or favorite sports team has been a great conversation starter among strangers. In general, finding commonalities should be your goal in any social interaction.
Initiate meet-ups. Don’t wait for someone else to initiate hanging out, otherwise it may never happen. This is especially true if you’re using an app like Bumble BFF. Just like dating, if you feel like you connect with someone, get there number and schedule a time to meet up again.
Consistency is key. I’m pretty sure I got this from a Mel Robbins podcast episode, but it’s fantastic advice. In the beginning stages of a friendship, frequent get-togethers are vital to building a connection or else it may fizzle out. Make sure to intentionally set aside time in your calendar to follow up with your new friends.
Need Help With Making Social Connections and Conversation Skills?
If you’re someone who struggles with conversation and making connections, I’d recommend watching some YouTube videos on the channels below. I’ve personally found a lot of their content to be really helpful.
